


Never Give Up

by EnchantedbookLover18



Series: Fictober 2020 [8]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst-ish?, Day 8, F/M, Fictober 2020, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, Not Canon Compliant, Pain, References to Depression, Sort Of, Suicidal Thoughts, prompt 22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:00:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26892571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedbookLover18/pseuds/EnchantedbookLover18
Summary: "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Kahlil Gibran"Pain is real. But so is hope." - Unknown"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love." - Sophocles
Relationships: Ellie Bishop & Nick Torres, Ellie Bishop/Nick Torres
Series: Fictober 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947187
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	Never Give Up

**Author's Note:**

> Mixing it up again! Remember to read the tags first for warnings!  
> Fictober 2020 #Prompt 22: "and neither should you"
> 
> Bits and pieces are taken from personal experience.

It was a cloudy night in late October as Nick walked through the front door of the apartment that he shared with his girlfriend Ellie, expecting her to sit on the couch in their living room, watching a movie.

When he found the kitchen and living room empty and the lights out, he got worried, and called for her, “Ellie, babe, I’m home. You there?”

There was no answer but a sound coming from their bathroom next to the bedroom as if somebody was trying to muffle their cries. _Ellie._

“Babe,” Nick knocked on the door slowly, “can I come in?”

She didn’t reply but he could definitely hear her sobbing on the other side of the door so he carefully opened it and peeked inside the room. Leaning against the bathtub, Ellie sat on the bathroom floor, her feet up and head resting on her knees. The blonde cried bitterly.

“Shh, baby,” he whispered and walked closer to her. Once he reached Ellie, Nick got down on both knees and carefully wrapped his arms around her body, embracing her in a tight hug.

A few minutes passed and the couple just sat there on the cold floor, wrapped in each other’s arms before Nick had the heart to ask, “what’s going on, El? Why are you sitting on the cold floor, crying?”

“I can’t do this anymore, Nick,” Ellie’s eyes were full of pain and despair when she finally dared to look up at him. “The pain- it’s too much to bear. I can’t-” She almost choked on air when another agonising sob escaped her mouth.

“Shh,” he murmured again while he stroked Ellie’s back comfortingly. “I know it must be hard…but it’ll get better, El, I promise. It always gets better.”

The blonde kept crying, her head on Nick’s shoulder. Then she sniffed and said hoarsely, “but it is a part of me. The doctors said it might never go away and I’ll have to learn to live with it. How do you live with a pain that never leaves but gets even stronger sometimes? How do you do your job when you’re constantly in pain?” Ellie asked but didn’t expect an answer because there was none. This was not a problem that could be solved.

While she spoke, a tear rolled down Nick’s cheeks at seeing his girlfriend so helpless and defeated and hearing her talk like that. If only he could have anything in this world, he’d take away all of her pain. _If only_ …

“I wish I could give you an answer, El, but I don’t have one.” His voice was soft and calm as he spoke but there was a storm raging on the inside. “Even more, I wish I could swap places with you, or take it from you all the way.” Nick placed a few tiny kisses on Ellie’s head and interlaced their fingers.

“Nick, I’m _so tired_ ,” she sounded more broken than he’d ever seen her. “I-”

“Ellie, look at me,” Nick urged for Ellie to sit up again and put his hands on her cheeks, slowly caressing her skin. “Don’t give up, _please_. I won’t pretend to know what it’s like to be in constant pain, feeling a dull or sharp ache in your head all the damn time without a break. But I know what it’s like to love you, and to see someone you love so hopeless and broken. Let me be strong for you. Please.”

When Ellie locked eyes with him again, he could see something else beside the pain and sorrow. He could see _love_. All the love she felt for him in that moment. And it made his heart glow and fill with love and hope.

“I will never give up on you, ever. **And neither should you**. I know it’s hard for you to see it right now but you have so much to live for, Ellie. _So so_ much. Your life – our life – will be filled with so much laughter and happiness, I know you can do it. I’ll always be by your side.” Nick’s voice was strong and determined but the expression in his eyes directed at her was full of affection.

“But- what if-” Ellie struggled to get the words out. “You deserve someone who isn’t _broken_ , Nick. Someone who isn’t damaged like me…” More tears streamed down her face and another sob escaped.

The Latino stared at her wide-eyed, in shock that she’d really think like that. He only ever wanted – needed her. Ever since they’d first met in that alley near the bus station many years ago. “Hey, look at me. El, you’re all I want. I love you. And nothing – and I mean _nothing_ – is gonna change that.” Nick tenderly kissed her forehead. “You got me?”

A small, cautious chuckle escaped her at his words. “Okay…I love you too.”

He nodded approvingly and with a reassuring smile playing around the corners of his mouth. “Good,” he slowly got up on his feet and lifted Ellie up as well. “Now, follow me. You go sit down on the couch and get comfortable while I prepare a hot-water bottle and tea. Then I’ll give you one of my magical massages. I know the pain won’t go away but it can’t hurt trying to make it easier and untighten your muscles, and to make you feel more comfortable. If you want, we can even watch a movie to distract you.”

“Okay,” Ellie nodded weakly. “Sounds good.”

They weren’t out of the woods yet and maybe it would take a lot longer to get even close but it was a start. He just had to remind Ellie to take it step by step, day by day, and to never give up.  
Tomorrow Nick would search for every facility and hospital that offered counselling and pain therapy, and could provide help for Ellie. Because tomorrow was a new day and he wasn’t going to let her give up that easily. If they couldn’t make the pain go away, she’d had to find a way to live with it – they both had to. For Ellie, Nick would do anything.


End file.
